Thursday, August 30, 2007

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Sergio is nearly healthy and FOOTBALL HAS BEGUN!!!

I woke up sick today and football has begun.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

At Death's Door

Sergio is still sick and the only words he finds necessary to speak through his sore throat are, "I think I'm dyin'. Lady, I'm dying, seriously." To be fair, he is actually sick enough that I drove him halfway to school today before turning around and driving him home, plopped him on the couch and then left to get a haircut so he couldn't continue to tell me how sick he is.

No, I am not really that hardhearted. I just needed a haircut as it was getting particularly mushroomy.


We went to a barbecue over the weekend. That makes three vegetarian couples we owe return dinners to now. All of our best meals are meat related. Any ideas? Sergio played croquet, Eliot sniffed a cats butt for the first time and got a claw in the face, and I dominated a conversation. Good times were had by all.

We also went on a long bike ride, if anyone was curious about the results of the poll. As it turns out it is far quicker to get to the bookstore by bike on back roads than it is in the car on the highway. Also, I cannot bike up the final hill to the house. All of Sergio's sick whining still doesn't compare to my hill-climbing whining. Not even close.

Sergio started class yesterday but had to miss today because of phlegm. Not a great start.

I start hanging out in a 7th grade classroom next week. Eventually I will teach said class full-time. I choose not to think about that right now.

It was 39 degrees in parts of Eastern Oregon yesterday morning. I hope that weather miraculously makes it to Arkansas to give you guys a break. I hear it has been terrible.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Swollen Tonsils of Doom

This happens to Sergio a few times a year. Eliot works to comfort the invalid.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Picture Pages, Picture Pages

Does anybody else remember that? That little show that came on Nickelodeon during Pinwheel?
"Picture Pages, Picture Pages,
Time to get your Picture Pages,
Time to get your crayons and your pencils..."
"You can play with Picture Pages,
FIll your day with Picture Pages,
'Till Bill Cosby does another Picture Page with you!"
Speaking of trippy things I watched in the eighties, Sergio and I watched an entire Bob Ross episode a few days ago. You know the show, "happy little trees." That was one of my favorite things when I was a kid. The show still has the power to send me into a panic. "Don't put a tree THERE! You'll ruin the painting....Oooooh, I see what your doing...Oh, God, what are you DOING? Ooohhh, a pond."

So, now that I have gone way out in left field, the point is that a few weeks ago we went to Arkansas and I never talked about it here. This post is a few pictures I have stolen from friends and family members. I intended to steal and post even more, but Facebook is really tight with the photos. The trip was fun, but really quick. I took so long to post about it that I no longer remember what I was going to say. Arkansas is hot. So very hot.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

If You Need a Laugh

Click here

A Nice Thing About Oregon...

are the marionberries that start growing in August. We noticed this last year when we moved here, but other than popping a few in our mouths on walks we never really took advantage of them. Marionberries are like giant blackberries and if you come here around this time of year you will find people picking them along the roads at every turn. They grow like weeds as far as we can tell. I think it is one of the main reasons the homeless population seems to double around Portland for these couple of months. We picked a big bunch along the road the other day and having nowhere to put them we used Sergio's windbreaker to get them home. By the time we got back to the house he had a lovely bright purple stain through the jacket, his shorts, his boxers, and a stain on his leg that didn't wash off for awhile. Yesterday we took a mason jar. In four days we have made this marionberry crumble twice. I love free dessert!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


We changed up a few things on the blog. Just because I am bored, I think. We added a list of books we are reading, and if you click on them they take you to the amazon website. So you probably don't want to click on them. I meant to make the book covers show up, but I didn't quite get that to happen. Oh well. We also added a poll. Not because we have anything to ask really, but because we thought it would be fun. You don't have to sign in, or leave a comment, or anything difficult like that. Just click in a circle and push vote. Easy stuff. Enjoy!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Drunk and Disorderly

Sergio asked me early last week if I would be willing to drive him and a few of his co-workers to Salem so that they could undergo a wet lab. In case you don't know, a wet lab is when you volunteer to get drunk and take breathalizers and Field Sobriety Tests (FST's) at the State Police headquarters. Now, the image I conjured in my head of this event was utterly boring, but since I am out of school for a couple of weeks I had nothing better to do. On the way to Salem we all discussed what we thought it would be like. Though the images varied slightly, the general idea was about the same. A windowless boardroom, shots of alcohol provided by stern police officers to be followed by a series of tests. My part would be even worse as I was expected to hang around watching this for four hours while sober. Fun!

When all eight of us arrived (two drivers, six DA clerks), we found an impressive police academy. We were taken on a tour at first by a jovial guy who showed us the driving course, the dorms, and all of the real-life scenario buildings. Among these buildings were hospitals, schools, houses, and a main street. On the main street was a stocked grocery store, and a full bar that had pool, cards, and casino games. This is where they took us to spend the next few hours. It was already shaping up to be different than we expected, but when we walked into the bar and they set out about 10 different liquor options, followed by any mixer we could think of, I knew it was going to be a good day. They ran the group (minus us drivers) through some questions and medical tests in order to determine how many drinks it would take to get each person to 0.1 blood alcohol level. Sergio learned not only that he needed 7 drinks in two hours in order to reach the 0.1 goal, but that he has really incredible blood pressure. The smallest person was supposed to have 3. The drinks started flowing. Sergio had rum and cokes, others had margaritas, gin and tonics, you name it. Each hour they took breathalizers to determine how they were doing. The girls got cut off, but Sergio and one other guy were given doubles. By this time there was an audience of friendly cops yelling, "drink faster, boys" and various other encouragement. While we waited they provided games and food.

Finally it was time to enter the enclosed main street through the door. At this point we learned that the other driver and I would be going in as "placebos." We were all given gum, told to say, "I've had two beers, sir/ma'am" and sent into the room. This is where about thirty trainees from all departments rotated in groups of four around the room and put us through three FST's. First, Follow the Pen (with your eyes not your head), which took forever and as they learned proper technique, had to be repeated often. Second, Walk and Turn. Stand with your left foot on an imaginary line, touch your right heel to your left toe on the line and stand with your hands at your sides while I explain the directions. Do you understand these instructions? Good, now take nine heel to toe steps while looking at your toes, counting out loud, turn and take nine steps back. Do not raise your arms. Do you understand these directions? Begin. Third, One Leg Stand. Keep your hands at your sides, raise either foot six inches off the ground, point your toe, look at your foot, and count one thousand one, one thousand two until I say stop. Do you understand these instructions? Good.

I will skip any details of the actual eight times we each went through this process, except to say that about two groups into the tests the instructors came over to me and did the Follow the Pen, and then again later. I knew something must be up. Anyway, and hour and a half later, it was over and they brought us into the room with the thirty cops, where they had our results as the trainees had determined them on the board. We each went through the drinks we had and then our blood alcohol levels before and after. Sergio had gone in at a 0.9 and came out at a 0.6. Out of the eight groups he was determined impaired and "arrested" twice. Some of the others were arrested each time. I had one coke, 0.0 going in, and 0.0 coming out. I was arrested THREE times. I was then pulled up in front of the whole room to show them how to properly administer Follow the Pen because I have a catch in my left eye and a drop in my right. If the test is done incorrectly I am considered drunk (but the stumbling didn't help either). The eye test is supposed to be the foolproof test. Not only that, but during the test one of the instructors told the trainees that he would check me in a real-life scenario for smoking pot because my pupils are so large.

The lessons of this experience:
1. Sergio is deemed more fit to drive above the legal limit than I am anytime.
2. Wet labs are a great way to spend an afternoon and everyone should do it.
3. FST's are a terrible way to determine drunkenness
4. Cops can be fun

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Belly Laugh

I got this picture off of my cousins Pixagogo account. My camera batteries died before I ever even got to Arkansas and I have no pics of my own. Nephew David and Cousin Kamryn.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Movie Reviews

Bourne Ultimatum ♣♣♣♣

Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix ♣♣½

Arrested Development Season One ♣♣¾

Monday, August 13, 2007

Classic Marriage Moment

Conversation following the first few bites of last nights dinner. This was the second time we have had Irish Onion Soup.

Sergio: I really think I improved this recipe since the last time I made it.


Sergio: Don't you think so?

Me: I made it last time.

Sergio: No you didn't.

Me: Yes I did...(followed by angry stare)

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Poodles Point of View #2

In light of recent events, I have come to the startling realization that I need psychiatric help. As I mentioned the last time I spoke to you guys, my people aren't the greatest. I was convinced there for awhile that they wanted to hurry along my death a bit, what with scary hikes, freezing water, and other such tortures. I didn't realize until just this week though the psychological games they are playing on me. Let me give you some details.
Despite my continuous efforts to tell them that I don't care for other people they decided to leave me with complete strangers for five whole days. I don't know how they got "please leave me with possible lunatics" from my constant barking at strangers and hiding under the bed when someone knocks on the door. Those actions clearly mean "I would rather live under the bed in my own feces with no food until you come home, thank you very much!" Anyway, the geniuses totally misread me and left me with a new girl and guy for awhile.
Let me just say, my eyes have been opened. I had no idea life could be SO GOOD! These people treated me like a king. Long runs in the morning, trips to the park every day. Every day! That is decidedly more than the couple of times a month Blondie and the Guy (he has taken to shaving lately) manage to arrange themselves enough for a trip to a real park. These new people gave me treats every time I did something cute which, let's face it, was just about all the time. They had a fenced yard where I could play, and no strange noises coming from the walls at all hours of the day. It was incredible. They even arranged their schedules so that I was never left alone for more than a couple of hours at a time. Sometimes The Guy and Blondie leave me right after my "strictly business" morning walk and don't return for....well....for a while. I don't have the clearest sense of time, but it seems like a long while when they go.
And then one day they came back. Blondie came in all smiley, clearly expecting me to fawn all over her. Well, I was going to show her. I didn't go to her right away, and then I was quite aloof in the car. However, my resolve began to break rather quickly. When The Guy took a nap that afternoon, I slept right next to him on the couch. I am so ashamed. Then I slept practically nose to nose with Blondie all night. I realize in hindsight that I was afraid she would leave if I moved. Something is clearly wrong with me. These people neglect me, abandon me at will, and play sick head games with me that result in my undying devotion. Somebody help me! I need the number of a good mental professional. I feel like a Lifetime tv character that keeps letting the abusive husband back into her life even though she knows better. Just call me Rhonda JoBeth. No matter what, I stand by my man...and Blondie.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

At the Airport Again

Looks like Dawn isn't really a morning person

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Thursday, August 02, 2007

At the Airport

I am at the airport. It is far too early in the morning to come up with anything more exciting to say. Oh, vending machine cokes are $1.75 and nothing else is open except coffee places. Who wants coffee in the morning? On the other hand, the free wireless is nice. I brought my computer so I could finish up my homowork, but I think for now I will catch up with the internet. Here's hoping for no delays!