A Grandparent Specific Post

Exciting stuff.  Trivia:  This was the first time I voluntarily spoke on camera, though I use the term voluntarily loosely.  P.S.  If we do another video post we promise it will be more exciting. Or at least she will be awake.  

Take Her To The Zoo, Babies Love The Zoo

On Saturday Dawn and I decided it was time to introduce Rosalind to the zoo. It's hard to suggest that we went so that Rosalind could see the animals, she spent most of the time asleep in her stroller, but we were able to get her out to see a few things.

As you can see she was a bit puzzled by what she saw. Well she isn't exactly photogenic right now.

Just so everyone out there doesn't think our daughter is permanently cross eyed here are a few more pictures. 

Poodle POV: Thing

Where should I begin?  The humans have been behaving strangely for a long time now.  I was angry when we moved to this hot place and our house had no carpet.  Oh, how they laughed the first few times I tried to run around and fetch my toys.  It is NOT funny when I run into walls! They are so immature.  

But then things got even stranger.  The blonde one started growing.  And growing.  And growing. This made it really difficult for me to find my comfortable spot in bed or on the couch. I thought this was really inconsiderate on her part.  

Just when I thought she couldn't get any bigger, she and the bearded one left the house for nearly two days and then came back with...Something.   

I don't even know how to describe this thing.  It is small like another dog...but it isn't a dog.  It smells a lot like the other humans, but it doesn't look like any human I have ever seen.  It can't walk, or talk, or really do anything for itself at all.  As far as I can tell, the only purpose of this new thing is to make noise.  Lots of noise.  

When The Thing first arrived I did what I could to avoid the noise.  But the more it was around the more I began to notice that it needed my help.  I mean, those humans are always trying to kill me so I don't know why this new thing would have it any different!  

They have this terrible habit of putting it down and walking away.  Who just walks away from something that can't do anything for itself?  It was asleep recently and they put it in a large cage in the bedroom with me and then just left.  Fearing the humans were just too dumb to realize this was a mistake I got out of bed and found them on the couch.  No matter how many times I got their attention and went back to the bedroom, they just would not follow.  They weren't dumb, just evil.  

Not long after that the blonde one left the thing alone on the couch and walked into another room.  Again with this?!  What is wrong with them?  I don't know much about The Thing, but it certainly looks capable of rolling around.  I immediately sat behind it on the couch to keep it in place.  I am going to have to really be on my guard to help the humans keep this one alive.  

And though the presence of The Thing comes with NOISE and at the expense of my regularly scheduled walks, it is worth it.  Why?  Well, it is forever spitting out this really smelly food.  If I just sit close and wait I get all kinds of extra little treats throughout the day.  Awesome.  I believe The Thing and I will make a great team against those idiot humans someday.

Yup, Just More Pictures

In the first two pictures Rosalind is wearing a baby wife-beater tank top.  It is supposed to be 3-6 months, but the head hole is tiny.  Instead it is more of a wife-beater dress.  Though the name sounds terrible it is actually cute.  In the last picture it looks almost like she is smiling, but that is the face she makes right before she crinkles up and gets ready to cry.  Very confusing.  

I Am Now Ambivalent About Vomit.

Greetings to those of you in the real world!  To all of you who don't exist in a place where it has become normal to sit and let an 8 1/2 pound blob spew on you ten or twelve times before deciding to change shirts, or to be thrilled if you manage to sleep any longer than 2 1/2 hours at a time, or cry at random intervals for no reason at all.  It must be nice where you are!  

Despite all of that, it really is pretty okay in this world as well.  Now that I am feeling a bit better about things I can write this post with a bit of perspective and humor.  Had I written it last week it would have lacked those things.  I don't know if anyone knew this already, but tiny newborn humans are HARD!  I wasn't fully aware of this before.  They look so cute and small and sweet, but really they are just a bag of demands with very little reward built in.  

They don't smile.  They don't laugh.  They don't hug.  

They cry.  They poop.  They eat.  They puke.  A lot.  And when you try to fix these things for them, they cry harder.  Thankless.  

And if I am being honest with you, I didn't transition to this very well.  I have cried more in the last 24 days than I have in the last ten years combined.  A mixture of "what does she WANT?" and, "I don't know what I am doing," along with, "what happened to life as I knew it?" and finally a raging batch of hormones on top of virtually no sleep.  It is a wonder the human race continues.  This must be the evolutionary reason behind accidental teenage pregnancy.  

Just since last week things have started to improve.  Now that the house is warmer she doesn't mind being naked, which makes most diaper changes easier.  Now that Daddy makes the bath water instead of Mama it is much warmer and she actually likes baths.  Now that the Prevacid is kicking in she doesn't cry and arch her back for three hours after she eats.  The last two nights she has only woken up twice and gone immediately back to sleep.  We figure we better try to enjoy this time since we will wake up soon and she will be all grown up.

 

Gratuitous Baby Pics

Here are some more Pictures of Rosalind Cate.

I think she's trying to do some push-ups here.

Thunder Thighs

Our daughter is a fountain of spit up.  We do a lot of laundry.

Fat Man in A Little Shirt

Yesterday I completed the Fast and Furious Duathlon, and because I understand that the audience of this blog is now fully focused on a certain infant I will be brief in my description. The format was a 2 mile run, then an 11 mile bike ride, another 2 mile run, and finally another 11 mile bike ride. My total time was 1 hour 52 minutes and 32 seconds, I placed 82nd out of 153, all four miles were each run in approximately 8.5 minutes, and I averaged 37 minutes per bike ride. The wind was the culprit for the slow bike times, it was a gale, anyways I finished in the middle of the pack and was proud and happy to do so. Oh, and one anecdote. I began the race by getting my shoe stepped on, it flew off, was kicked by someone, and so I began the race in dead last on my butt putting on my shoe.

Bet You Can't Guess the Subject of This Post.

I know not everyone wants to see pictures of our kid everyday and nothing else, but you'll have to deal a while longer because our families really just want to see pictures.  Also, we do nothing else right now.  

Top Ten Most Awesome Things About the Arrival of My Daughter That Have Nothing to Do With My Daughter:

1.  Sleeping on my stomach.

2.  Scalding hot showers.

3.  Being able to pee on a normal human schedule and feeling satisfied at the end.

4.  Just the regular amount of indigestion, not mutant pregnancy indigestion.

5.  Deli meats.

6.  A whole side of my closet rapidly becoming available to me again.

7.  Being able to see my blind spot in the car.

8.  Nobody asking me if I will fit in the restaurant booth or school desk anymore.

9.  My belly button is nearly back to resembling an actual belly button.

10.  No more commentary from strangers on my condition.

Cute ruffly pants, unhappy baby!