I have been interviewing for a job for well over a month now. In the meantime I have been avoiding writing about the pregnancy on the blog in case this potential employer found the blog and subsequently discovered the pregnancy I had not worked up the nerve to disclose yet. This scenario would never have actually happened and if had it would have likely made little difference, but I like to wallow in paranoia. As of today the potential employer is informed of my "delicate" condition, so let's begin.
"I love being pregnant, I feel so feminine and have so much energy!"
"I can eat whatever I want and it doesn't matter!"
"Pregnancy is wonderful. It is one of the greatest experiences a woman can have."
If you have ever uttered one of the above phrases or a variation thereof, please leave now. I have no use for you. In fact, if I had heard you use one of those lines a few weeks ago you might have ended up in a headlock. Pregnancy is rough. At the beginning when I could only move off of the couch long enough to lay in front of the toilet, I would have said it was the worst thing ever to happen to anyone. I am now highly medicated and will simply call it "rough."
Places I vomited in the first 14 weeks of pregnancy:
My parent's house
Iggy and Sara's house
Atlanta Bread Company
five strangers yards while walking the dog
If you have never had to make the slow walk from the electronics department in the very back of wal-mart to the bathroom at the very front so that you could then puke so much and so hard that it bounced back out of the toilet to cover your clothes...well, then consider yourself lucky. There is some poetry to the fact that I haven't shopped in a wal-mart in over four years and yet I managed to enter one just long enough to defile the restroom, don'tcha think?
Tomorrow, all the many things that made me vomit in the first 14 weeks of pregnancy. And then I promise to move on from the topic of puke.