Top Ten Most Awesome Things About the Arrival of My Daughter That Have Nothing to Do With My Daughter:
1. Sleeping on my stomach.
2. Scalding hot showers.
3. Being able to pee on a normal human schedule and feeling satisfied at the end.
4. Just the regular amount of indigestion, not mutant pregnancy indigestion.
5. Deli meats.
6. A whole side of my closet rapidly becoming available to me again.
7. Being able to see my blind spot in the car.
8. Nobody asking me if I will fit in the restaurant booth or school desk anymore.
9. My belly button is nearly back to resembling an actual belly button.
10. No more commentary from strangers on my condition.